Today my mom came in my room at 6 a.m. to let me know she was leaving for a conference. Why on earth she had to verbally communicate this, I do not know. She did, however, leave gluten free pancake batter and a pan out for me. Which was nice. She left before I was out of bed. It was odd having the house to myself at such an ungodly hour. I went to Coffee Bean on my way to school and the man behind the counter asked me, for the second time this month, how many "fingers" worth of soy milk I wanted in my coffee. 1, 2, or 3?
Today I missed the "don't come to school memo." My only friend who attended school today said to me, "I'm gonna vomit and then go home," and that was that.
Today everyone was bitching about sleep loss. Like, "oh, I didn't do the homework cause my sleeps all off," or like "I'm so tired cause of the time change," and I'm all..suck it up!!
Today I realized that I haven't done school work in at least a month. My Pre Calculus teacher actually laughed at how behind I was today. Laughed!
Today I bought Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on my way home. These small chocolate delights are actually my greatest enemy. They are sent by the Devil to bring me down. The high fructose corn syrup kills me slowly. Why I ate two of these delicious babies before starting my four hours of homework, I do not know.
So I wonder, how I can articulate more clearly that ALL I want to do is bake gluten free banana bread. Throw EVERYTHING I have to do off the table and measure out the ingredients because it is this that seems will bring me sanity. To use my hands and be in the process of something based on practicality. Something, perhaps more grounding than this fleeting, wandering plane I am currently occupying.
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